Don't catch a cough!

Word to the wise in back surgery recovery, avoid catching a cough. Sudden repeated and unpredictable contractions of core muscles does not make for a happy healing process. My back feels more like it did back in February strength and stamina wise lately. This is a source of serious frustration when there's play and sex to be had. On more than one occasion this week, I caught myself "muscling through" pain or exhaustion that really should have been acknowledged and addressed. As soon as I figured out that it was about the cough and not a random back slide, it's been easier to be nice to myself (and admit to others that I'm not as strong as I was a week or two ago).

Also, if NRE were predicted in a Rob Brezsny horoscope, this is what it would look like:

"The planets are conspiring to unleash energies that will touch you in ways you didn't realize you needed to be touched. Any minute now you may begin to feel a pleasurable burning sensation in your soft underbelly, or a prickly wake-up call in your willpower, or a ticklish electricity running through your funny bone. What does it all mean? Maybe nothing. Or maybe it means so much that you can't possibly analyze its meaning. What a valuable gift that would be! When is the last time you felt free of the need to have to understand everything?"

Where'd Red Go?

I don't have any big events to prepare for.
I don't have any major health struggles.
I have plenty to talk about.
Where the hell have I been?!

Three little letters explain so much: N.R.E.
It's a delightful mental illness which all the experts say will eventually pass on its own without significant treatment.
It frequently manifests symptoms like: sleeplessness, exhaustion, manic episodes, obsessive fixation on communication devices, and characteristic eye rolling in bystanders.

In poly circles especially, NRE (new relationship energy) can be... volatile. There's the fantastic joyful high that can spread out and run all over the other partners resulting in (among other things) more fun sex for everyone. But there's also the high potential for all parties to communicate poorly and make stupid mistakes. Failure to properly manage NRE has been the death of many many poly relationships.

So what am I doing to keep the good and mitigate the risks?
Awareness: The first step is to recognize that this is infact NRE. It's not suddenly finding the one true thing I've been seeking my whole life. Nor is it a casual friendly flirtation to be down-played.
Communication: I'm trying to err on the side of overcommunicating with existing partners. Even with that goal, I think I'm still falling short a little. I'm also trying to pay attention to what my partners are saying (and not saying) about their comfort levels with the situation.
Quality time: I'm making intentional time with my existing partners doing the things we like best or that feel special and unique to our relationships.

So far, so good.

Someone New

With the exceptions of having my windshield smashed and being pretty exhausted all week, life is good right now. Here's a scanned and cropped version of one of the photo-booth pictures taken at SEAF. (A total of 58 bobby pins by the way)


Beyond this point, this is another one of those more kink/sex-focused posts:

Last night, I played with someone new for the first time in a long time. More specifically, I played with someone who did not know me during the rougher parts of my recovery from surgery. This was also the first time since well before surgery that I played in a more fluid power dynamic situation. So the equation looks a little like this:

Surprise Chemistry + Fluid Power - Shared History = Rapid Potential Achievement

When your body changes drastically, there are things you learn to do (or avoid doing) that just become habit after a while. It was nice to have those habits fall away and just explore what felt right in the moment. I want to write more about this, but I think I'm puzzling things out too much to clearly communicate what the puzzle looks like yet.

It was hot, and fun, and educational, and ultimately... exhausting (but in a good way).

More Pictures

Here are some awkward self-portraits of Saturday's dress:
(click for bigger...I think)
A note on this dress, this dress has a lot of personal history in it for me. It was a gift from the person who introduced me to my community here in Seattle, given to me on a weekend trip together after only having spent 24 hours together in person. It marked a whirlwind introduction, and I was quite pleased to have such a special occasion to show it off again. My body hasn't changed all that much, but after 7 years something about the way I carry myself in this dress feels like it has changed significantly. The pose in that blurry shot where you can see the tops of my boots would never have happened 7 years ago.

SEAF Public Opening Night

The SEAF planning/production team and volunteers kick ass! This is one hell of an event. I'm one of those people who had mixed feelings about some of the past year's festivals. While I was excited to be in the show this year, I honestly didn't expect it to be this fantastic. The space, the art, the program, the tech-crew: awesome!

I got to see even more of the art with Russell taking a more methodical approach to the gallery. I also got to lurk around my x-ray and watch complete strangers react to it. That was fun.

I don't have any pictures of last night's outfit. I wound up wearing the body hose tonight rather than the dress I'd originally planned on. Friday was supposed to be about seduction and texture and the body hose has that in spades. It also gave me an excuse to wear my hair down because I fully planned to flirt and find people to join me in the dress, and there is no number of bobby-pins large enough to hold a hairstyle together climbing in and out of a tube multiple times. When I arrived it dawned on me that dress sharing wasn't going to happen when we were all strutting about the gallery seeing and being seen. So I waited patiently for the after-party to start and planned to have a little fun with a friend out on the dance floor.

Here's the thing though, when the lights went down and the after-party started I realized these weren't "my people" attending this part of the festival. I've become completely spoiled at the Wetspot. I just don't go out to normal clubs and I forget what drunken otherwise overly-inhibited people do when they have an excuse to let go a little. All my alarm bells went off saying I would likely be spending more time whacking people away than dancing. My friend and I agreed that the dress dancing would have to wait for a Grind. Russell and I left very shortly there after (but not before seeing a truly talented pole dancer show her stuff).

Again, my own personal version of a SEAF after-party was my favorite part. I started typing this post before bed last night while sitting on the couch in my dress full of unused potential. When I noticed the post was going to be more than a few sentences to get my ideas out there, I set it aside and went to snuggle a very sleepy Russell. I didn't bother to take the dress off, and managed to get Russell to join me inside. I really like watching skeptical people try the dress and realize how much cozy fun it is. I'll spare you most of the details, but suffice it to say the body hose makes a nice bedtime companion as well.

Ok I'm off to a workshop. Then it'll be time to get ready for one more night of fun and craziness this weekend.

SEAF Preview Review

Hi folks,
There's a lot more SEAF to go this weekend, but I know some of you would like to see at least a first set of pictures.

The pampering at Duque was quite nice. Even though our snapshots don't do her work justice, Lola our make-up artist was fantastic! We had great eyes! I wasn't thrilled by my hair style, but it was definitely very fancy. I kept telling people it was Art (with a capitol A). And hell, I've got two more nights to play with my hair in my own way.

Here's the first picture Kaylee and I took in our attempt to document the evening. We would have had Russell take it for us, but he was busy in the shower (Can you see the boy part in the background?)


Then we decided that none of the white walls in the apartment would do for background portrait shots so we wandered into the front yard. These two shots are my favorites so far. Partly because I don't take great face shots to begin with and also because we just look so damned pretty and elegant.


When we got there, I would have nothing to do with anyone or anything until I located my x-ray. It's in a pretty easy to describe place. Walk to the back of the hall, stand in front of the boutique photo booth, turn around and look at the wall behind you. There's a fantastic torso sculpture to the right and a hot redhead to my left.

Once the piece was located, a lovely evening of showing off was had by all. Max joined Kaylee and I part way through the night and we got to direct him to the fun art we had scoped ahead of time.

As nice as it was to wander around and feel special and fancy like all the others in the room, I have to admit, the highlights of my evening came after we left the exhibition hall. The preview closed early (for people used to staying out until 1AM on a Thursday), so Kaylee, Max, and I went to Whim for a little pick-me-up before finishing the night off at Grind. Actually Max went home after insuring that Kaylee and I were well nourished and properly motivated to enjoy the last bit of Grind on our own.

And enjoy Grind I did. Stripping out of that outfit was so much fun. There were several songs worth of just teasing the skirt up, but eventually I couldn't stand it any longer the gown needed to come off. Only problem was, I had a pair of jellyfish stuck to my breasts underneath that were in no way sexy when viewed without clothes over them. So I tip-toed off the dance floor as discretely as possible to remove them and stash them in a safe place. I got to finish off the last two songs of the night dancing naked for people I really enjoy, including one new individual whose attention was particularly compelling. (I anticipate finding ways to have more of that individual around in my future)

All that dressing up and decking out does have it's draw-backs at the end of the evening though. Kaylee and I were really longing for my dear friend who actually enjoys taking down complicated redhead up-dos. NORMAN WHERE WERE YOU?! Instead, we had to do it ourselves. Here's one of the last pictures from the night.



Care to take a guess as to how many bobby pins it takes to hold Kaylee and I together on a night like this? (answer will be in the next post)