Oops, I poisoned Russell

Our tub was gross.

"Yeah right Red, you're a girl, what do you know about 'gross' bathrooms really?"

When I declare "Our tub was gross" I'm serious. There was a black ring around the white space where we stand to shower that blended off to a brown goo in all directions and up all four sides of the tub. I have wanted to soak in a warm fizzy tub for the last couple days, but could barely bring myself to stand in the shower long enough to wash my hair.

Let me put it to you this way: I am less than 6 months out from surgery, my back has been cranky the last couple days, and still getting down on my knees and leaning over the tub for an hour or so seemed like a completely reasonable measure to make my bathroom livable again.

So I traded out my PT exercise routine for a tub scrubbing this evening (complete with being mindful of keeping my core engaged and not twisting).

Just as I was finishing up, Russell appeared in the bathroom red-faced, runny nosed, and not entirely coherent. I was using a new eco-groovey, animal friendly, Seventh Generation Tub and Tile cleanser "Emerald Cypress & Fir" scent. Apparently, one of those earth-friendly botanicals has been identified by Russell's immune system as a terrorist and his body went in to serious allergic reaction mode.

The final score:

• The tub looks much better (not pristine by any stretch of the imagination, but better)
• I'm sore, but more like a good workout than bad choices
  
• Russell is recovering slowly thanks to modern anti-histamine technology
• I didn't get my soak tonight, but now the tub will be ready for me post-gym tomorrow.
  
• The cleaner, while effective and freshly scented, has been banned under the biological warfare treaty of the apartment.

Things to know _before_ surgery:

So here I am, precisely one month after surgery and I have a few more things I wish I'd known or thought of before surgery.

• Cut your toenails really really short as close to surgery day as possible. Your toes are a looooooonnnnnngggg way away from your hands. I finally managed to get to mine today, but not without some large amount of effort that almost required a nap afterward. I suppose you could schedule a pedicure (I did consider this a couple weeks ago) but you're still dealing with getting out and hoping you can sit in the chair comfortably for the duration.
• Cars don't like sitting in a garage for a month completely untouched. I took Ziggy (yes, my car has a name and gender now shut-up) out for the first time this afternoon and boy did she sound rough for the first 10 minutes or so. If I'd thought more about it, I would have asked a friend to drive Ziggy around for a day or two a couple weeks ago. It's good to remember too that all the mirrors will need adjusting, cause you sit taller now. Also, backing out of the garage was a treat. I didn't realize how much subtle twisting I did for that every day.
• Orgasms will probably change shape and flavor. This is in part a sex blog so I'm happy announce that I had my first orgasm since surgery last night. Don't panic, my orgasm-prone pre-surgery readers. Your mileage will probably vary. Despite being pretty in-touch with my sexuality, my orgasms were tough to come by even before surgery. However, since surgery I've been slowly learning how to wind up into arousal without arching and tensing my back. It's a delicate line to walk between being in controll and aware enough to not break something and still being able to release and enjoy the ride. However it's a dangerous thing to start eroticising a pain designed to tell you to knock it the hell off before you break something.
  

Another Recovery Landmark:

I POOPED!!!

Ok, I realize this is really more information than anyone wants, but for those of you considering this surgery, you need to fully comprehend what a HUGE deal this is. Today is the first day since September that I have pooped without the aid of chemicals. And yes, that liberated sensation that we all know about and no one talks about does still accompany the post surgery poo.

In other landmark news:
The first post-surgical load of laundry is done with the aid of two consecutive visitors today. I really enjoyed having both ladies over and welcome more visitors at this time. It seemed pretty obvious to both visitors when my stamina was gone and it was time to go, so no need to worry about keeping me up too long.