Things to love about my life

I just felt the urge to send a little love text. I typed it out on my not-smart phone. I went to select recipients. The top 5 most recent correspondents are automatically at the top of my list for easy communication on the not-smart phone. Every single one of them merits a late-night love text. AND I still had one more that I needed to search my contacts list for because there are 6 (SIX!!) people in my life that I love in a late-night love-text kind of way.

My life is AWESOME.

Oh and... Bang 4 the Buck is tomorrow night. If you identify as female, get your butt down there! Kaylee and I have an... arresting number prepared.

Various and Sundry

It seems like I should post again so here you go:

• I'm thinking of changing the focus of my posts for the next year. I'm more than a year out from surgery and frankly it just isn't that big a deal in my life anymore. (Hence, I'm not posting so much) That said, I want to keep stuff archived so people looking for shared experiences have somewhere to turn, and I'm always open to questions on old posts.
  
• The poly parts of my life are definitely taking center stage in my personal growth plan right now. There are a lot of moving parts in my world of relationships which means there's rarely a dull moment. The tricky part of adjusting the blog to this emphasis will be in relaying genuine experiences without stirring up undue drama.
  
• I haven't stopped being kinky either--though the realization of these desires hasn't been quite as prominent as playing the poly balancing act. I would like to take at least a post or two in the near future to try to put into words what I get out of all this and what I'm still longing for.
• Performance/theatrical art has certainly made a come back in my life and I'm quite happy about that. I'll be dancing in an upcoming show at Little Red Studio here in Seattle. Rehearsals are going well so far.
  

My life is Awesome!

Okay, overall it's just about as awesome as most other people's lives. BUT the past weekend was particularly demonstrative of my life's unique flavor or awesomeness.

The week was stressful at work, not all bad stress, mostly high-intensity, "this is what we spend all year getting ready to do" kind of stress. Still Russell and I managed to have a nice dinner before Grind (the beginning of my weekend). Then, because I didn't have any actual responsibilities at this particular Grind, I went home to consult my closet about the night's costume.

I wasn't sure whether Tony (formerly known as Mr. NRE) was even going to attend Grind, so I approached my closet looking for something fun, but that would not be so cool as to be disappointing should he miss the opportunity to appreciate the outfit. Much as I wanted to go with a low-risk standard, there was a costume piece that refused to be denied any longer. The boots. As in my platform-heeled, lace-up-the-back, zip-up-the-front, I've-fallen-on-my-butt-more-than-once-while-dancing-in-them boots. I figured I had at least a couple more weeks before they demanded to be worn since I did take them out on a short test-run at SEAF. But NO these boots can get down-right bossy and demanded a serious high-femme outfit to set them off that night.

So I quickly sent a irresistibly tempting photo message to Tony hoping to insure he would show up, put myself together and out the door I went (with boots in hand because while they're bossy they were no where near convincing enough about their comfort and stability to keep me from wearing back-up shoes).

The boots did make it out on the dance floor. I did not fall on my ass. Tony did show up. And he was mightily appreciative of the outfit.

With the exception of a being a little extra cautious when the floor got crowded, it was almost as if I'd never had the surgery. My back didn't even get sore after all that dancing and balancing with a weird center of gravity.

That's all very nice, but here's where the awesomeness really starts:

On Saturday morning, I got to share breakfast with Max for the first time in much too long. He's been out of town and I've been a little tougher to schedule lately. Fortunately we had the good sense to share breakfast in private so we could enjoy each other and "what-not" without trying to maintain a vanilla exterior.

Oddly though, by the time I got home after sharing breakfast with Max, I was perhaps even a little more hungry than I was before breakfast. So Russell and I went out to lunch together and made plans for the way we wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon. Things didn't go exactly as planned but we really didn't mind. Honestly, what's not to like about an afternoon spent on very focused snuggling and "what-not," reading out loud, and sharing a pizza dinner while still naked in bed.

Then it was time for Russell and I to be on our separate ways. I was off to see opening night of a show that Tony was performing in. The show went quite well and Tony and I wrapped up the day with still more focused snuggling and "what-not."

That was significantly more "what-not" than I pack in to any given week on a regular basis, much less a single day and guess what... My back feels fine (my girl bits are a little cranky, but hey, there's a price for everything). Russell, Max, and Tony all spoiled me rotten on Saturday which is just what I needed to be ready to jump back in to the craziness at work today.

Seriously, my life is awesome!

Slide Show

The link you've all been waiting for:
Kaylee and Red's (un)Dress Rehearsal
If you must be warned that this isn't work safe you're really beyond help.

Life is really good for me right now.
Healthy body,
Happy family,
Room to grow and the means to do it.

Bang for the Buck Report

Lorelie wrote up a nice over-all review of the night, so I'll lazily say "What she said" to my general impressions of the evening. And let me just say, my inseam was no where near as lucky as Lorelie's. I came home with one purple cock ring. Seriously?! What the hell am I supposed to do with that? (I have much too strong a sense of self-preservation to approach either of my penis-equipped partners with it.)

Kaylee and I were all business about getting ready from about 3:30 on. This makes for a very long evening.
I want to pause here to consider that Kaylee and I were only preparing for one 2-minute act in a much longer show and event. The organizers of Bang for the Buck are nothing short of goddesses for being able to set-up, run, and break-down this epic event while exuding fabulousness from every pore. I hope they were treated accordingly for the rest of this weekend.
We were costumed in time to do a run-through with our friend Travis to document our escapades. (someday he'll get me a disc with the pictures and I'll post them for you) Then quick out of those costumes and into our cover-costumes. I believe we only made 3 failed attempts for the door before we had everything we wanted with us. Lorilie already mentioned the epic traffic that would have made Kaylee and I late if it hadn't also affected everyone else. As it turned out, we were some of the first to arrive. Which meant we were also one of the first acts on the list.

Several nerve-wracking delays later, our song came on. And out we stepped in our perfectly ridiculous slutty engineer outfits. We had a blast, the audience had a blast and I got to show off my scar in a big way. Our fabulous MC, Miss Indigo Blue, kept referring to the many amazing "back stories" of the dancers on the stage without calling any out specifically. I'm not sure if she knew the whole of my back story or not.

It was great to see people I hadn't seen in a while and hear how impressed they were with my energy and mobility. It would not have happened that way without the support of my friends and family. I'm incredibly grateful for all the supportive words and energy I received along the way to that night. You all bless my life!

I owe y'all a Bang report.

I also owe Max a PT report, and frankly he comes first.

Bang for the Buck Reminder

LADIES: If you are anywhere within driving distance of the club tonight, get thee to The Bang! (Even if you're "not into girls" this party is an absolute blast. Think slumber party gone really really wild...with fewer PJ's and more silly dancing.)

Gentlemen and Out-of-State Voyeurs: Thanks to a very generous photographer friend, you will at least get a taste of the act Kaylee and I have planned. We will be doing a quick dress rehearsal before we head down there this evening, and he has graciously agreed to take a few pictures during the rehearsal. Poor guy, alone in a room with two spirited redheads obligated to watch closely as they take their clothes off repeatedly.

Landmarks

Landmarks of recovery just keep racing up on me lately.

Bondage-focused scene with Max: Check
Working a 40-hour week: Check
Scrubbing the tub so I could take a girlie bath: Check
Passing muscle tests at physical therapy: Check
Submitting "Art" to SEAF: Check
Dancing at Bang for the Buck! (even though it's coming up a month earlier than I'd expected): Obviously I can't check this off quite yet, but I'm pretty confident in my ability to drop my drawers in less than two minutes without falling on my butt or otherwise hurting myself. This is a really big one for me folks. I pinned this goal to my wall very shortly after deciding to have this surgery. It was so much fun last year I started planning for it with Kaylee the morning after the event. I think the only thing that having a month less time to prepare physically will affect is my footwear. I'm just not ready for the risks of 6" spike heels yet. Fortunately, we have this covered.

Great Grind!

Yesterday I met my work deadline (well not to my perfectionist standards, but passably anyway) and felt a big weight off my shoulders. Which was good because last night I had A LOT of dancing to do. I love Grind and have missed it while dealing with the busy season at work and then getting wound up for the surgery.

Last night was the last Thursday before surgery so I was quite determined to make the most of it. The long absence coupled with the long day at work meant taking a little longer to transition from work to club-wear. I wasn't all that late, but late enough that I missed out on the warm-up music. I walked in the door and made a B-line for the dance floor without pausing to realize that my body has been pretty sedentary this week and might benefit from a wee little bit of stretching. But the DJ is a sadistic man and was playing some of my favorite fast-tempo music so what was I to do? (My sore legs and feet have several suggestions for me today)

Many of my friends made it out for some portion of the night and danced with me or gave me good luck squeezes between songs. During one of the quieter DJ phases, one friend even made some time to guide some spiritual healing work in preparation for all of this.

When the event ended, some of my up-all-night friends stayed to help Kaylee, Russell, and I capture some video of me dancing. Who knows, there might even be something fun for you two watch while you're waiting for surgery reports next week.

Bleedin' Schedules

The first round of blood donation did not go as planned. On the up side, my hemoglobin
count was nice and high (15.3 on a scale where the acceptable range is 12-15.5). Unfortunately the phlebotomist did not stick the needle in quite right so I bled incredibly slowly. The nurse then came over and tried re-adjusting the needle (A LOT). Once again skills acquired while doing kinky stuff came in quite handy in a completely vanilla context--hooray for pain processing. After 20 minutes of having to stand by me and hold the needle in place to get any blood at all, she decided there was probably a clot in the needle and stopped the operation with less than half a unit gathered. The whole thing will go to waste now and rather than having 2 weeks between donations, I'll only have one.

In better news, my inner control freak is pleased to note I'm getting a bunch of my to-do list scheduled across the weekends in September.

• This weekend I had a delightful date with Max yesterday, a good walk in the woods with Russell today, and a Mom-visit scheduled for tomorrow.
• Next weekend is all about the spinny rides: I'll be doin' the Puyallup with friends on Saturday and then a very pretty lady will be stringing me up by a pencil swivle at the club Sunday night.
• The weekend after, I'll get in a pile of woods time. I'll be "camping" with Kaylee and a couple girls from work.
• The weekend after that is the long-awaited getaway weekend with Max.
• The Thursday after that (the 25th) I've arranged to stay at my local club after hours with a few friends to get video and possibly stills of the way I dance before surgery. I'll be sharing some of those here on the blog. The rest of that weekend will be dedicated to unstructured surgery/recovery prep.

In 12 Weeks

In 12 weeks, I'll be starting back at work again. I'll be through the heavy narcotics phase, and the struggling to walk to the bathroom phase, and the hospitalized phase, and the waiting to get this damn thing started phase.

Today though, I've only just started the making appointments phase. I have an appointment with Human Resources tomorrow to complete the paperwork for my leave. I'm making an appointment for a week from tomorrow to donate the first pint of blood for transfusions during surgery.

Now that I'm less than six weeks from surgery I feel a bit like a tiny collection of snowflakes the wind just rolled down a hill. Something tells me the perceived distance from October 1st is going to decrease exponentially rather than linearly. There's so much I want to squish in to this ever shrinking space of time. I want a high-quality hair trimming (I don't anticipate being comfortable in a shampooing sink for many months after surgery). I want to finish editing the shoot we have in the can for TwoBigMeanies. I want to get in a couple social-dance nights--waltzing and swing. I want to go on ridiculous spinny rides (at the Puyallup Fair and the Wetspot). I want to laugh hysterically with my friends. I want to walk in the woods. I want to make it to another Gina Sala chanting session. I want to amass a collection of videos, books, music, and audio books. I want to spend time with my parents and their respective energetic canine companions. I want to get video record of the way I dance at Grind. I want to actually accomplish a shoulder shimmy in belly-dancing class before I can't do it any more.

Coming to you LIVE

I'm typing to you from my most recent surgery-prep purchase:
The new laptop desk/bed tray

On Monday, I had my first insurance-sponsored massage treatment. So besides the fact that I'm getting these massages to loosen up my back and reduce stress before surgery, I'm talking about it here because of a conversation we had during the session. It went something like this:
"So what kinds of physical activity do you do?" He asks
"Oh, walking, a little bit of weight lifting, and I'm taking a belly dance class once a week." I say.
"Ok and what else?"
"I do some yoga before and after working out and I try to get out dancing a few times a month."
"That's nice and what else?"
***I pause here. It's possible he's just trying to make small talk and not really paying attention, but this is clearly my opening to talk about my other activities. There are two schools of thought in the category of sharing kinky proclivities with one's health care providers: "What I do in my bedroom is my business," or "How can I get good health care if my providers don't know what I'm really doing with my body?" I fall pretty solidly into the latter category, although I try not to overshare or make people too uncomfortable. The fact that I spend some regular portion of my free time being twisted into knots and hung from the ceiling seems pretty relevant to massage therapy.
"Well, I do some rope suspension. That's why you may see some marks on the backs of my arms and around my rib cage." This is what I like to call a verbal traffic cone. It's clear that I do something different, but if the other person wants to he or she can just leave it alone and walk around it.
***This is clearly taking a moment to register
"Ah," he laughs a little "kinky stuff." His tone indicates he thinks he's joking.
"Well yes, actually." I respond. If the last sentence was a traffic cone this is an Enter at your own risk sign.
After stammering about for a moment, he did actually enter. He had aparently attended a workshop at the Wetspot before. We spent some time talking about poly and kink and D/s while he did stuff that made me make a lot of the same noises I make in scene. I felt really good physically and mentally after I left. I'm looking forward to going back next week.

It's the little things

Posted to LJ on: Apr. 21st, 2008 at 12:59 PM

Today while listening to the song Kaylee and I decided not to use for Bang for the Buck next year, I was reminded that Bang for the Buck will happen after spinal fusion. Will I be able to walk on stripper heals? Will the way my body moves still illicit tips? Will I fit into the costume we already purchased? Will I be able to attend without being unreasonably exhausted? (Will I ever post about anything completely unrelated to the surgery?)

Bang isn't until February so I'll have several months of recovery under my belt at that point. Realistically, it will probably be just fine. But right now it's hard to get my brain to drop the worrying, be here now, let the then take care of itself. I'm kind of looking forward to camp this summer. It means I won't have time to think about this stuff during the day, nor will I have energy to worry it too much when I get home.