Of Breeding and Cookie Baking

Relax friends and loved ones, I haven't fallen prey to the biological clock, but I do have some observations.

I work in a place that sometimes puts me in direct contact with crumb crunchers and their parents. I've been avoiding this part of my job since surgery, but today I felt strong enough to give it a shot again. (I was wrong) I found myself in a position that required I pick up a small munchkin to insure his safety. If my physical therapist is reading this she'll be happy to know I used all the good body-mechanics we discussed in the process. He was probably less than 25 pounds so not entirely out of my range of ability, but women tend to carry babies differently from laundry baskets. The maternal instincts that forced me to toss him on one hip did me in.

Which brings me to my suggestion for adult women considering this surgery. It's all about timing ladies! Either have the surgery once your children are old enough to understand why you can't pick them up (age 5 or 6), or have the surgery before breeding. Picking up babies 5 months post-op is really really really tempting and, in my first-hand experience, a very bad idea.

My job has also prompted a round of cookie baking tonight. We're having a kind of open house in our building tomorrow and everyone is bringing some kind of treat. My contribution will be Oatmeal Butterscotch and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies (eta: the recipe link). This is the first time I've made these cookies in over two years. I used to refer to them as the cookies of death. However, since I'm hoping that I'll bake enough cookies to have a few left over for Skippy's memorial on Thursday, I'm hesitant to broadcast the nickname too loudly. Nickname or no, just the act of baking these cookies is comforting to my mixed-up emotions. I must be getting old, somebody died and I have a very strong urge to bake a casserole in a transportable container. (I don't even EAT casserole, much less know how to cook it)

PS. If say someone were to drop by before I go to work tomorrow, he or she might be able to snag a very fresh, very tasty (Russell approved) cookie. There's oatmeal in the cookies so they count as breakfast...right?!

First death in the family.

Today I am faced with the first death of a member of my extended chosen family.

Skippy was one of those ever-present people in my community. While by no means an angel, he did a lot of good work and shared a caring supportive word with countless numbers of people who walked through the doors of our community center.

Even though we never played, we grew up in this community together. We got to watch one another's successes and mistakes and provide support no matter what. From quick playful words to surprisingly poignant conversations, from much-needed massages to temporarily taking over EC duty when I simply couldn't resist getting naked on the dance floor, I will treasure my memories of this mercurial man.

I'm still in shock, just 24 hours ago we were sharing hugs and discussing the transfer of surplus cold packs to soothe my surprisingly sore back.

To any of my family who may also be reading this and missing Skippy, perhaps you will find this post by a stranger helpful.

Last PT Appointment

Today was the final Physical Therapy appointment (for now).

My therapist for the last month and a half was a delightful chatty open-minded woman. She kept asking questions even after noting my verbal traffic cones around certain subjects, so I have been fairly open with her. Our last appointment was just hours before Bang for the Buck, and she knew about my plans for that night. When I got there today, I even showed her the slide show (pausing the action before the last two slides for public decency's sake). Curiously, even knowing about my poly relationships and sex-positive club, the traffic cones she carefully avoided were the ones that may have led to discussion of kink. When I mentioned that the sore spot in my back today was likely from some athletic time in bed, she didn't ask for any more details.

Once we got back to the task at hand, she made note of significant increase in muscle and definition in my upper back. She joined me in celebrating my first successful attempt at putting sheets on a bed in over 4 months. She sent me home with several exercises that can be scaled up as I continue to get stronger. She also said it would be okay to start working on some of the weight machines at the gym.

With Max's continued support, I seem to be doing well with the exercises and increased activity. I'm pretty optimistic about where I'll be in a few months.

Feeling good post-gym

I've made it to the gym 3 of the last 4 days. Tonight I'm feeling really good. Really really good. The muscles in my back feel strong and active, and the rest of my body is quite happy about the additional moving around. Even more than the physical, I'm feeling really good emotionally. I'm full of gratitude for the people at the forks in the road that brought me here today.

• To Dale who has provided quiet reassurance and friendly, loving perspective for nearly 10 years of this journey
• To Ernie who escorted me to my first play party and proved that not all the people one meets via the internet are psycho killers (even if they do suggest you meet them in a foreign country and attend a secret-ish event).
  
• To Seawandrr and Opium who opened their home and hearts to me and introduced me to so very many wonderful things about the kink community--including many of the people mentioned below
  
• To Bob whose love pulled me away from my cabin in the woods and into the big city permanently
  
• To Cat Tailor whose love, wisdom, wit, and passion helped me through the toughest parts of my Saturn Return
  
• To Maven whose love, patience, and honesty gave me the courage to change
• To Russell whose gifts are far too many to list here
• To Lauren who decided I was family
• To Kaylee who became the exception to most of my rules
• To Lorelie whose life has woven across mine some remarkable ways
  
• To Max who saw and accepted my offering
• To the friend of a friend whose short conversation with me gave me the confidence to quit poking around for second opinions and just do it
• To all the health-care professionals I've worked with over the last year every one of whom respected my honesty and encouraged my active participation in my own health-care
  
• To my employer who allows me to be honest about my way of life and provides kick-ass health benefits
  

It's hard to play the what-if game with one's history, but I'm quite certain that I'd be a very different person in a very different place were it not for each and every one of the people listed above. I look at this list and see many more people that I could fill in. My life is completely blessed by love and generosity. The people not listed here are no less important to the path I've wandered to get where I am today, I hope they know that too.

Slide Show

The link you've all been waiting for:
Kaylee and Red's (un)Dress Rehearsal
If you must be warned that this isn't work safe you're really beyond help.

Life is really good for me right now.
Healthy body,
Happy family,
Room to grow and the means to do it.

Bang for the Buck Report

Lorelie wrote up a nice over-all review of the night, so I'll lazily say "What she said" to my general impressions of the evening. And let me just say, my inseam was no where near as lucky as Lorelie's. I came home with one purple cock ring. Seriously?! What the hell am I supposed to do with that? (I have much too strong a sense of self-preservation to approach either of my penis-equipped partners with it.)

Kaylee and I were all business about getting ready from about 3:30 on. This makes for a very long evening.
I want to pause here to consider that Kaylee and I were only preparing for one 2-minute act in a much longer show and event. The organizers of Bang for the Buck are nothing short of goddesses for being able to set-up, run, and break-down this epic event while exuding fabulousness from every pore. I hope they were treated accordingly for the rest of this weekend.
We were costumed in time to do a run-through with our friend Travis to document our escapades. (someday he'll get me a disc with the pictures and I'll post them for you) Then quick out of those costumes and into our cover-costumes. I believe we only made 3 failed attempts for the door before we had everything we wanted with us. Lorilie already mentioned the epic traffic that would have made Kaylee and I late if it hadn't also affected everyone else. As it turned out, we were some of the first to arrive. Which meant we were also one of the first acts on the list.

Several nerve-wracking delays later, our song came on. And out we stepped in our perfectly ridiculous slutty engineer outfits. We had a blast, the audience had a blast and I got to show off my scar in a big way. Our fabulous MC, Miss Indigo Blue, kept referring to the many amazing "back stories" of the dancers on the stage without calling any out specifically. I'm not sure if she knew the whole of my back story or not.

It was great to see people I hadn't seen in a while and hear how impressed they were with my energy and mobility. It would not have happened that way without the support of my friends and family. I'm incredibly grateful for all the supportive words and energy I received along the way to that night. You all bless my life!

I owe y'all a Bang report.

I also owe Max a PT report, and frankly he comes first.